If someone were to ask me what kind of parent I want to be, my answer would be....
....loving.
I want to raise my son with as much love as I am capable of. I want to nurture him, to cherish him, to learn from him, to teach him things, to watch him grow, to meet his needs and hear his inner voice.
I want to do it whilst loving him unconditionally.
It won't be hard to find that love considering it is almost bursting out of me. Each and every day I am so proud of this little person I created and am amazed at how much love can fit in my heart.
Being aware is the part that takes practice. In our society today there is so much pressure. So much outside influence. So many opinions. Parenting does not come entirely naturally, though it really should.
In other countries and other cultures they do what they need to do in order for their children to survive. They fulfil their basic needs.
This might include sleeping with them cuddled up to your side for warmth, and because you only have one bed for the entire family.
This might include tying your baby (or two) to your body so that you can work to make money or to prepare dinner to feed the family.
This might include your children running around without clothes (toilet training), or using rags of cloth, because you do not have the luxury of using nappies.
This might include letting your son keep the foreskin he was born with because you see no need to have it removed because you don't know any better and no medical 'professionals' TOLD YOU it was for the best.
This might include breast feeding for as long as possible, because you do not have any other food for your child, and it is what nature intended to do. AND you do not have breast pumps, or milk clinics, if you have trouble one of the other mothers may well feed your baby as well as their own.
There is a real sense of community. Everyone helps each other. They parent as a group. They raise their children with love although they have not much else. Material things don't matter.
In our western culture there are labels for parents who want to be this kind of natural. Who want to love their child unconditionally, be aware of their needs and feelings and validate them. We get called 'attached parents' or 'aware parents' or probably more commonly 'hippy mothers'.
Our society is so focused on material things, big houses, nice cars, huge tvs, and to have all these you need high paying jobs, you are forced to put your child into care because you cannot afford to stay home and do YOUR JOB and raise them. We have everything we could possibly need.
The regular people of society often may think..
Why breast feed when we can use pumps, or formula?
Why use cloth when we have disposables and pre packaged wipes?
Why toilet train our children young, it is unnecessary and too much hard work..
Why wear your child on your body when you can push them in a pram?
Why would you feed your child finger foods? they would much rather have food shoveled in on a spoon, that looks and tastes the same and has no texture apart from being mushy
Why would you possibly want them to eat with their hands? that is not using their manners, AND it is sooooo messy, but never mind the mess made when cooking, chopping and pureeing their other spoon food. That is a normal part of our 'routine'
Why let your baby wake up at night when you can train them like a puppy?
Why let your baby feed and sleep when THEY want to, when you can program them like a robot? we all need our children forced into unnatural routines that cause them upset and teach them to be obedient.
Why would you want to stay at home and look after your own child when you could be out making more money and spending 1/2 of it on child care so that your child can have everything? never mind missing out on all the milestones and the joy they bring from day to day, and the time that you can never get back.
Why let your baby sleep in your bed? when it is so uncomfortable and you went and mortgaged a huge house so that the kids could all have a room of their own, so why not use it AND don't forget.. someone told us that it causes SIDS..
Our role as a parent has been misinterpreted and taken from us.
We need to get back to basics and just be there for our children.
I don't live by anyone's rule book. I listen to advice and I hear peoples opinions but I make my own choices. I use cloth (sometimes), I use formula AND I breast feed, I baby wear (sometimes) and other times I push the pram, I co-slept for a while but now bub has his own room, though we do bed share (sometimes). There are no rules. I just do what I do and do it with all the love I have to give.
I love the sense of community I get from the group I met on facebook. Of like minded parents, though we are all different and do not all believe in exactly the same things. Our values are similar. We are there for each other. Total strangers, but a real community.
