Driving scares the hell out of me. I mean I like it, the open road, and the sanctity of being inside my own car singing away to my own tunes but it also scares me.
I do a LOT of driving lately, with the trip to Vinny's dads place being a 45 minute drive away.
I take him there 2 or sometimes 3 times a week.
And then I drive the same distance in a different direction each Tuesday to go to my Uni course.
Each and every time I'm on the road I encounter some people with very questionable, stupid, and downright dangerous driving skills. HOW do these people get their licence? I have precious cargo onboard most of the time. That beautiful baby boy who rides in the back. and I drive carefully, in fact.. I drive like a nanna.. but the rest of you.. shame shame shame!
Dear Mr bumper-rider/up-your-bum-driver/can't-see-the-headlights-on-your-car-because-you're-TOO FAR-up-my-ass driver..
You bug the hell out of me because if I were to slam my brakes on at any moment for a kangaroo or someone slamming theirs on or a fallen tree or whatever reason; I know you will shunt me from behind at 100kms/hour and that doesn't end well for any of us.
Dear Mr leap frog/ impatient/ overtake-3-cars-AT ONCE driver...
You also bug the hell out of me. That is just plain stupidity. And obviously if I'm the middle car in the 3 it means the slow person in front of me is the problem, and IF I had a clear safe chance to overtake them chances are I would have already.
that brings me to
Dear Mrs slower than slow/a tortoise would beat you/I-wish-I-had-a-sign-to-show-you-that-says-do-the GOD DAMN SPEED LIMIT driver...
You irritate me so bad. 90kms or 80kms in a 100kms zone is annoying, frustrating and
Dear Mr confused/are you sure you don't have bipolar?/speed-up-and-slow-down-and-can't-drive-at-a CONSTANT SPEED driver...
Oh.EM.Gee! You are so ridiculous. I mean doing the tortoise AND THEN speeding up so that I have to do a ridiculous speed to overtake you. How stupid is that!!!!!
Or the other version which is to sit on 80kms/hour all the way into town, right through the 100 zone, then the 80 zone and STILL DOING 80 in the 60 zone. WTF is up with that? and sooooooooo many drivers do this. Are you all blind or just plain ignorant?
Dear Mrs non-blinkers/failure to use that little thing called an indicator/inappropriate-use-of-your-turning-signal (or lack thereof)
Annoying. Frustrating. Stupid. I want to beep my horn and swear at you and give you the finger, however in todays world it is just too unsafe to make rude gestures at anyone because you may well find yourself stabbed.
Dear Mr hurrypants/failure to stop at stop signs, or give way with minimal clearance/you-just-floored-it-across-that-intersection-within MILLISECONDS of that oncoming car driver..
Accident waiting to happen you are. What difference is a few seconds going to make. Where ever you are going will still be there. If you misjudge that gap or your car doesn't perform as it should and you can't get through their safely, it will still be there but you WON'T be coming to see it.
Dear Mr and Mrs complete moron/you are driving on a road with other users who want to get home alive/that-is-a-car-your-driving-not-a-freaking-FORMULA ONE car driver..
I hate your stinking guts! I think the title you have is enough to understand the point. People like me don't drive like nannas to arrive home safely just for the hell of it. The road is a dangerous enough place without stupid speedsters like yourselves. I really don't like the idea of being the one doing CPR on your sorry ass 10kms down the road after you've smashed your car into a tree, or some poor innocent bastard who got in your way.
AND THEN sometimes, if you are super unlucky you get them all in one... the whole bad driving jackpot..
(in the case of the other day) there was the guy who did 70 in the 100 zone (thats the tortoise), sped up to like 120 while I tried to overtake and (thats the confused) then sat up my a$$ (thats the bumper-rider) and OVERTOOK ME back again (thats the leap frog) and finally sped off into the distance in front of me (thats the complete moron). You Sir are a Prize F*ck Head. Go back to South Australia (where your plates were from) and drive over there please, we don't want you on our roads.
Vent over.
Monday 13 June 2011
Sunday 12 June 2011
The Great Outdoors
Today we had a rare whole day together (between me studying, working and him going to spend time with his father).
The weather outdoors is fabulous for mid-june and so we took the pram out for a spin and had a picnic lunch at the gardens.
I have only taken him outdoors to play somewhere like this a few times. I can probably count them on one hand. Does that make me a lazy mother?
I really should start doing it more often though it was so enjoyable and it's nice to get out of the house.
Daily life can be so mundane.
We spent about 45 minutes down there. Laying on rugs on the grass. Beautiful green grass.
Underneath the biggest gum tree.
There was a gentle wafting breeze, but it was not cold. The sun was shining through the tree tops and there were a few fluffy clouds floating around.
I took about a million gazillion photos of him.
He just sat there with a few ball toys for most of the time, and layed looking up and around.
There were birds chirping different birdy noises and he'd stop and look to try and find the source.
He pulled up blades of grass and played with crunchy leaves.
It was so nice and quiet (apart from the passing traffic, the birds and the wind). There were hardly any people in sight.
Then all of a sudden groups of 3-4 people appeared with paper running frantically round looking for stuff. They were seeking 'answers' to some sort of 'quiz' or 'hunt'. It was a strange sight. But it must have been a race.
The tiniest glimpse of a person, or the faintest noise of human speak and Vinny would be looking around to see who it was. They were metres and metres away. But that didn't stop him babbling and saying his hellos.
Unfortunately for Vinny nobody was really paying attention. So caught up in their race/game/thing. So hurriedly rushing about. Not really taking in the beauty of the day, like we were.
And he let them know too. He growled because they were ignoring him. He yelled and babbled even louder. I just giggled. Cheeky boy, always wanting to be the centre of attention.
Here's one of my fave pictures from todays outing.
The weather outdoors is fabulous for mid-june and so we took the pram out for a spin and had a picnic lunch at the gardens.
I have only taken him outdoors to play somewhere like this a few times. I can probably count them on one hand. Does that make me a lazy mother?
I really should start doing it more often though it was so enjoyable and it's nice to get out of the house.
Daily life can be so mundane.
We spent about 45 minutes down there. Laying on rugs on the grass. Beautiful green grass.
Underneath the biggest gum tree.
There was a gentle wafting breeze, but it was not cold. The sun was shining through the tree tops and there were a few fluffy clouds floating around.
I took about a million gazillion photos of him.
He just sat there with a few ball toys for most of the time, and layed looking up and around.
There were birds chirping different birdy noises and he'd stop and look to try and find the source.
He pulled up blades of grass and played with crunchy leaves.
It was so nice and quiet (apart from the passing traffic, the birds and the wind). There were hardly any people in sight.
Then all of a sudden groups of 3-4 people appeared with paper running frantically round looking for stuff. They were seeking 'answers' to some sort of 'quiz' or 'hunt'. It was a strange sight. But it must have been a race.
The tiniest glimpse of a person, or the faintest noise of human speak and Vinny would be looking around to see who it was. They were metres and metres away. But that didn't stop him babbling and saying his hellos.
Unfortunately for Vinny nobody was really paying attention. So caught up in their race/game/thing. So hurriedly rushing about. Not really taking in the beauty of the day, like we were.
And he let them know too. He growled because they were ignoring him. He yelled and babbled even louder. I just giggled. Cheeky boy, always wanting to be the centre of attention.
Friday 10 June 2011
seizing today
following on from my long previous post that totally got off topic and had me on a whole different tangent.....
Living life to the fullest, what does it even mean?
For me, right now it means loving my son with all that I've got. And looking after myself so that I have a chance to be around to do things, to live.
Money limits our level of living to some extent. I have a lot of things I'd like to do but can't afford right now. But I am young with *HOPEFULLY* a long life ahead of me and I still have one thing on my side and that is time. Nothing limits our ability to live more than death.
Which is why I am on a health kick. Starting yesterday. I am going to eat healthy and exercise more. It is a work in progress. I'm starting a food/exercise diary to keep track of what I do. With notes about what I feel like at the time, in order to try and rewrite my hunger patterns and stop 'grazing' like a sheep all day.
To stop comfort eating when I'm upset, or bored, or stressed out.
Today I'm on a roll.
I've had ACTUAL breakfast for the first time in a while. A bowl of cereal and milk.
I've had a snack, of fruit (watermelon) which I shared with bubba Vinny and he still hates it. You should see his face when he eats it.
I've worked out on the wii fit and wii active.
I've taken a walk with the pram instead of driving.
I've come home despite walking right by KFC and thinking 'oh I should stop in and just get a snack box' and made myself a salad sandwich on quinoa and flaxseed bread. And I also had to walk past golden fried chicken indirectly (i could smell it from half a block away from the shop and it smelled sooooooooooooooo good!).
I am proud of my efforts. And I hope to reward myself with a sweet treat after a week. I can still eat sweets in moderation. But I have to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my health.
My number one priority is my beautiful baby boy, and I need to ensure I'm actually around to be here for him.
On a side note:
Instead of the words carpe diem, another idea I've had for my tattoo is a bucket list. This idea partly came from a family friend whom passed from cancer and only knew she had it for 6 months. In that 6 months despite illness and treatment she made a 'bucket list' and completed several things off it.
So the tattoo I am thinking about.... Is of a bucket.
As in an actual bucket with a check list on it that simply says live, love, learn, laugh often. (Surrounded by roses or something to pretty it up some). I still have to get it drawn up and see if it can be as nice as it is in my head.
That is ALL there really is to life after all. Live -don't just waste your life away. Love -family, friends, partners, children, animals, work, whatever it is that you love just love it well. Learn -there are always new things to learn no matter how old you are and Laugh Often -because life would be dull without laughter.
A sweet reminder of all those who have gone before me.
Living life to the fullest, what does it even mean?
For me, right now it means loving my son with all that I've got. And looking after myself so that I have a chance to be around to do things, to live.
Money limits our level of living to some extent. I have a lot of things I'd like to do but can't afford right now. But I am young with *HOPEFULLY* a long life ahead of me and I still have one thing on my side and that is time. Nothing limits our ability to live more than death.
Which is why I am on a health kick. Starting yesterday. I am going to eat healthy and exercise more. It is a work in progress. I'm starting a food/exercise diary to keep track of what I do. With notes about what I feel like at the time, in order to try and rewrite my hunger patterns and stop 'grazing' like a sheep all day.
To stop comfort eating when I'm upset, or bored, or stressed out.
Today I'm on a roll.
I've had ACTUAL breakfast for the first time in a while. A bowl of cereal and milk.
I've had a snack, of fruit (watermelon) which I shared with bubba Vinny and he still hates it. You should see his face when he eats it.
I've worked out on the wii fit and wii active.
I've taken a walk with the pram instead of driving.
I've come home despite walking right by KFC and thinking 'oh I should stop in and just get a snack box' and made myself a salad sandwich on quinoa and flaxseed bread. And I also had to walk past golden fried chicken indirectly (i could smell it from half a block away from the shop and it smelled sooooooooooooooo good!).
I am proud of my efforts. And I hope to reward myself with a sweet treat after a week. I can still eat sweets in moderation. But I have to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my health.
My number one priority is my beautiful baby boy, and I need to ensure I'm actually around to be here for him.
On a side note:
Instead of the words carpe diem, another idea I've had for my tattoo is a bucket list. This idea partly came from a family friend whom passed from cancer and only knew she had it for 6 months. In that 6 months despite illness and treatment she made a 'bucket list' and completed several things off it.
So the tattoo I am thinking about.... Is of a bucket.
As in an actual bucket with a check list on it that simply says live, love, learn, laugh often. (Surrounded by roses or something to pretty it up some). I still have to get it drawn up and see if it can be as nice as it is in my head.
That is ALL there really is to life after all. Live -don't just waste your life away. Love -family, friends, partners, children, animals, work, whatever it is that you love just love it well. Learn -there are always new things to learn no matter how old you are and Laugh Often -because life would be dull without laughter.
A sweet reminder of all those who have gone before me.
Carpe Diem (seize the day!)
It took me half the day to realize that there was in fact a significance about todays date, the 10th of June.
Over time I guess it gets away from you. But then I still remembered... I guess you can never forget completely.
9 years ago today. 9 WHOLE YEARS. that is a whopping 3287 days, 468 weeks or 108 months.
That much time ago today there was a girl in my year level at school who passed away. she died. she was just 14 at the time.
how did she die? it was actually the queens birthday long weekend and she was visiting a friend, she had a sudden severe asthma attack, they rushed her to the hospital and did all they could but she died.
I can still remember the eerie feeling at the schoolyard that morning this day 9 years ago. The previous year an older male student had committed suicide and this particular morning was reminiscent of that time.. The same eerie feeling that there had been the day the news of his death broke.
The students around the school were quiet and just not the same as usual. The flag was flying half mast. The 9am bell never rang for the first class.
Then there was an announcement for an assembly and a briefing from the teachers. I don't know about everyone else but I knew what was coming; bad news. I glanced around the assembled students trying to guess/predict whose name was about to get mentioned. Not a clue.
And then they said it. Some of the girls in my year who were her friends but obviously hadn't been informed yet collapsed to the ground. Some people behind laughed.
I couldn't believe that somebody my age could die like that. It happens everywhere but until it happens to someone you know you don't really 'get it'. How temporary this life on earth really is.
There was counselling available and the multi purpose room was available for crying and grieving and dealing with this tragic news. A lot of people missed class that day. We made a tribute poster with words about her. On a humungous sheet of white paper. We drew pictures and wrote notes to her, in her memory.
They played her favourite songs over and over and over on repeat. For 2 whole days.
'heal the world' and 'man in the mirror'.
the heal the world track kept skipping, as if it were her saying stop sobbing and get on with life.
man in the mirror still brings a tear to my eye to this day when I hear the intro music. 9 years after.
I was really affected by this tragedy. For my own reasons.
She was not a close friend.. She was in only one of my classes, and occasionally we spoke in the school yard. One of my crushes was a friend of hers and when I think of her I often remember back to the day I wanted to talk to him and she and a mutual friend (who sadly is also now living in the after life ...but that's a whole other story..) tried to force me to go and talk to this older guy crush at lunch time. And when I got over there I was too shy to say more than hello anyway.
The same mutual friend from that memory was with me when we were grieving for her. We left the room where all the others were hugging, crying, remembering and went to get a drink from the canteen. When we returned the other girls had closed the dividers in the middle of the room, locking the 2 of us out.
How disgusting is that to do. Sure they were her best friends and hurting, but the pure bitchiness of that act, grieving or not it shook me to my core. They were basically saying that we had no right to be upset. Um, SOMEONE IN OUR YEAR LEVEL JUST DIED. Are you kidding me? No she wasn't my bestie or anything but I still knew her. Holy crap teenage girls can be so damn nasty.
To me she was an acquaintance. She had green hair and she wore it short and spiked up in a trendy style. She was not the centre of attention type, but she was popular. She could dance an awesome moon walk and loved Michael Jackson. She had many friends. In my head I didn't even like her. In my head I hated her. Especially after she borrowed something personal from me in class and never gave it back. So silly.
I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooo guilty for a long time that she must have died thinking that I hated her guts. But I never told her that, I never acted like it. She never knew what I was thinking about. And in reflection its all just high school drama. Sadly, I actually learnt a lot more about her after she had died. I respect who she was and what she could have been.
'She was a humanitarian' this was the first line of her tribute page in the year book. Humanitarian, a caring person who donated to charity and did things like shave for a cure. That was my kind of person. I didn't even know. Here I am 9 years later and wondering if she were still around what she could have done. She could have been the next generation Oprah or something. But her life was just stopped. Just like that.
Her funeral was sad. They played her favourite songs. They had photos of her on a table. Her best friends wrote letters to go into her coffin. Her mum collapsed in grief in the middle of the aisle. Her sister at the time only 10 or 11, going through one of the most horrible experiences imaginable. We released balloons of her favourite colour. That was it, she was gone, she was never coming back.
The moral of this post is that life is short. And ever since that day I've vowed to live my life the best I can. In honour of all the people who haven't had the chance to do the things they want to do.
And she was just the first of many people who've meant something (even if a tiny part) in my existence who are already on the other side. So many good people who've gone too young.
Carpe Diem. SEIZE THE DAY!
One day I'm getting a tattoo of this or something similar. In all of their memory.
R.I.P Kate.
Over time I guess it gets away from you. But then I still remembered... I guess you can never forget completely.
9 years ago today. 9 WHOLE YEARS. that is a whopping 3287 days, 468 weeks or 108 months.
That much time ago today there was a girl in my year level at school who passed away. she died. she was just 14 at the time.
how did she die? it was actually the queens birthday long weekend and she was visiting a friend, she had a sudden severe asthma attack, they rushed her to the hospital and did all they could but she died.
I can still remember the eerie feeling at the schoolyard that morning this day 9 years ago. The previous year an older male student had committed suicide and this particular morning was reminiscent of that time.. The same eerie feeling that there had been the day the news of his death broke.
The students around the school were quiet and just not the same as usual. The flag was flying half mast. The 9am bell never rang for the first class.
Then there was an announcement for an assembly and a briefing from the teachers. I don't know about everyone else but I knew what was coming; bad news. I glanced around the assembled students trying to guess/predict whose name was about to get mentioned. Not a clue.
And then they said it. Some of the girls in my year who were her friends but obviously hadn't been informed yet collapsed to the ground. Some people behind laughed.
I couldn't believe that somebody my age could die like that. It happens everywhere but until it happens to someone you know you don't really 'get it'. How temporary this life on earth really is.
There was counselling available and the multi purpose room was available for crying and grieving and dealing with this tragic news. A lot of people missed class that day. We made a tribute poster with words about her. On a humungous sheet of white paper. We drew pictures and wrote notes to her, in her memory.
They played her favourite songs over and over and over on repeat. For 2 whole days.
'heal the world' and 'man in the mirror'.
the heal the world track kept skipping, as if it were her saying stop sobbing and get on with life.
man in the mirror still brings a tear to my eye to this day when I hear the intro music. 9 years after.
I was really affected by this tragedy. For my own reasons.
She was not a close friend.. She was in only one of my classes, and occasionally we spoke in the school yard. One of my crushes was a friend of hers and when I think of her I often remember back to the day I wanted to talk to him and she and a mutual friend (who sadly is also now living in the after life ...but that's a whole other story..) tried to force me to go and talk to this older guy crush at lunch time. And when I got over there I was too shy to say more than hello anyway.
The same mutual friend from that memory was with me when we were grieving for her. We left the room where all the others were hugging, crying, remembering and went to get a drink from the canteen. When we returned the other girls had closed the dividers in the middle of the room, locking the 2 of us out.
How disgusting is that to do. Sure they were her best friends and hurting, but the pure bitchiness of that act, grieving or not it shook me to my core. They were basically saying that we had no right to be upset. Um, SOMEONE IN OUR YEAR LEVEL JUST DIED. Are you kidding me? No she wasn't my bestie or anything but I still knew her. Holy crap teenage girls can be so damn nasty.
To me she was an acquaintance. She had green hair and she wore it short and spiked up in a trendy style. She was not the centre of attention type, but she was popular. She could dance an awesome moon walk and loved Michael Jackson. She had many friends. In my head I didn't even like her. In my head I hated her. Especially after she borrowed something personal from me in class and never gave it back. So silly.
I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooo guilty for a long time that she must have died thinking that I hated her guts. But I never told her that, I never acted like it. She never knew what I was thinking about. And in reflection its all just high school drama. Sadly, I actually learnt a lot more about her after she had died. I respect who she was and what she could have been.
'She was a humanitarian' this was the first line of her tribute page in the year book. Humanitarian, a caring person who donated to charity and did things like shave for a cure. That was my kind of person. I didn't even know. Here I am 9 years later and wondering if she were still around what she could have done. She could have been the next generation Oprah or something. But her life was just stopped. Just like that.
Her funeral was sad. They played her favourite songs. They had photos of her on a table. Her best friends wrote letters to go into her coffin. Her mum collapsed in grief in the middle of the aisle. Her sister at the time only 10 or 11, going through one of the most horrible experiences imaginable. We released balloons of her favourite colour. That was it, she was gone, she was never coming back.
The moral of this post is that life is short. And ever since that day I've vowed to live my life the best I can. In honour of all the people who haven't had the chance to do the things they want to do.
And she was just the first of many people who've meant something (even if a tiny part) in my existence who are already on the other side. So many good people who've gone too young.
Carpe Diem. SEIZE THE DAY!
One day I'm getting a tattoo of this or something similar. In all of their memory.
R.I.P Kate.
The wonder month!
Ever wonder about a wonder week?
Or perhaps a wonder month?
What is it?
Apparently it is a period of time wherein a babies development goes full steam and they reach great milestones and this can also be a time for crankiness, sleeplessness and all other tantrum-ey behaviours.
I didn't really think they were real. Until we hit the 7 month mark.
For the past few months (well the first 7 really) V has been just cruising along day by day not doing anything miraculous or amazing.
Just being a baby. Making small maybe-once-a-week discoveries but nothing outstanding or extraordinary.
Then suddenly BAM! Out of nowhere everything all at once. 2 days before 7 months he popped out his 3rd tooth. He already had the bottom front two, but in the past 3 weeks he's busted out a whole FOUR new top teeth.
Sooooo - he's been teething, big deal?!
Since that 7 month mark he's just generally come along in leaps and bounds. Development crazy.
*He's gone from waking 1-4 times a night to sleeping through the night for the past 3-4 weeks straight :)
*He's gone from laying around and wriggling a little around in circles - to commando crawling half way and then all the way across the room chasing toys/shoes/feet/dirty nappies or whatever he can see.
*He's gone from flat on his back, to FINALLY mastering the skill of rolling from back to belly.
(I never thought I'd see the day!)
*He's gone from blowing raspberries to blowing air and giving the most adorable sloppy kisses (and sometimes a kiss with a raspberry surprise!!).
*He's gone from tentatively sitting for seconds, to sitting by himself for minutes and shifting his weight around to reach things, and get down onto his tummy.
*He's gone from saying basically only ey-ooo (his version of hello) to a proper 'hello' and a myriad of new words like 'hey' 'hi' 'mum' 'dad' 'nan' 'nanny' 'bubba' 'mumma' 'daddy' 'Ash' (my mums cat named Asha) and his newest and cutest most adorable word 'meow' (which he said to Asha when she came over to say hi to him).
And just yesterday he waved goodbye!! :)
awwwwwwwwww my heart is almost bursting with pride. the things they learn and the amount they grow and change. It is so hard to keep up. I take as many photos and videos as I can to record the constantly changing being that he is. Now I just have to take time out to catalog them on the computer in order and all that so I know what is what..
I wonder if it is a wonder month? Or if it just all clicked at once.
Or perhaps a wonder month?
What is it?
Apparently it is a period of time wherein a babies development goes full steam and they reach great milestones and this can also be a time for crankiness, sleeplessness and all other tantrum-ey behaviours.
I didn't really think they were real. Until we hit the 7 month mark.
For the past few months (well the first 7 really) V has been just cruising along day by day not doing anything miraculous or amazing.
Just being a baby. Making small maybe-once-a-week discoveries but nothing outstanding or extraordinary.
Then suddenly BAM! Out of nowhere everything all at once. 2 days before 7 months he popped out his 3rd tooth. He already had the bottom front two, but in the past 3 weeks he's busted out a whole FOUR new top teeth.
Sooooo - he's been teething, big deal?!
Since that 7 month mark he's just generally come along in leaps and bounds. Development crazy.
*He's gone from waking 1-4 times a night to sleeping through the night for the past 3-4 weeks straight :)
*He's gone from laying around and wriggling a little around in circles - to commando crawling half way and then all the way across the room chasing toys/shoes/feet/dirty nappies or whatever he can see.
*He's gone from flat on his back, to FINALLY mastering the skill of rolling from back to belly.
(I never thought I'd see the day!)
*He's gone from blowing raspberries to blowing air and giving the most adorable sloppy kisses (and sometimes a kiss with a raspberry surprise!!).
*He's gone from tentatively sitting for seconds, to sitting by himself for minutes and shifting his weight around to reach things, and get down onto his tummy.
*He's gone from saying basically only ey-ooo (his version of hello) to a proper 'hello' and a myriad of new words like 'hey' 'hi' 'mum' 'dad' 'nan' 'nanny' 'bubba' 'mumma' 'daddy' 'Ash' (my mums cat named Asha) and his newest and cutest most adorable word 'meow' (which he said to Asha when she came over to say hi to him).
And just yesterday he waved goodbye!! :)
awwwwwwwwww my heart is almost bursting with pride. the things they learn and the amount they grow and change. It is so hard to keep up. I take as many photos and videos as I can to record the constantly changing being that he is. Now I just have to take time out to catalog them on the computer in order and all that so I know what is what..
I wonder if it is a wonder month? Or if it just all clicked at once.
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